I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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