It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We're too hungover to prance.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
