But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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