Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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