At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
