worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
