you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
