lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
