This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize