Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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