suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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