Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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