first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
