He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
