I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize