This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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