May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize