thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
