My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
