what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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