So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
