They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
