Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
