So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
