I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
