sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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