On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
