Four minutes until I can fart!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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