Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize