how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
