Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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