If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
