Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize