so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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