In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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