Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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