then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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