Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
