So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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