We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
