i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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