i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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