I didn't shave. On purpose
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
