Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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