A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize