okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
