handjob tips. give me some.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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