Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
