she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I love you.
Bad choice
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
