So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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