girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
