it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
