i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize