We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
