wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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