we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
