dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
