the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
last night I used snow as a chaser
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