Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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