You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
