I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
