p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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