i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
