I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
