He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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