Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
