Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
