glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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