Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I will pee on everything he values.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
