real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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