She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
