Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
