just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
