Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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