my mouth tastes like poor choices
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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