The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
