Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize