At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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