Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
