I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
