remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
